Uhoh
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: SUMMARY: inspired by byrhthelm's "Oops!"
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Uh-oh

AUTHOR: VIDZ

TIMELINE: Season 1

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

SUMMARY: inspired by byrhthelm's "Oops!"

* * *

The door-handle moved silently as the person on the other side tested the lock, finding it unengaged.

Determinedly opening the door and crossing uninvited into the home beyond the intruder opened her mouth to launch into her prepared speech when to her stupefaction she noticed the main room was completely empty, save for a stereo playing in the background.

Her brow furrowing in consternation her eyes quickly scanned the space, looking for clues as to the location of it's owner. That was when the sound of running water registered, smoothing those wrinkles and making the cool eyes twinkle.

Smiling predatorily Allison dropped her purse and began taking off articles of her clothing as she stalked silently in the direction of falling water.

The shower curtain finally before her she felt her breasts tingle and nipples tighten in anticipation. Stealthily slipping inside the shower she pressed her front against the equally naked, very male and very slick, form already there, allowing her hands to drift to the front to zero-in on the prize.

* * *

The elevator shuddering to a stop Harm let his blond partner disembark first before reaching out and quickly pinching one firm buttock. Upon the resulting and expected shriek he darted around her smaller frame, taking advanted of her whirling around towards him being incapable of stopping him and then ran full pelt down the corridor towards the door of his apartment.

"Harm!" he heard the outraged female voice behind him holler "You'll pay for that!"

Of that he had no doubt and frankly couldn't wait.

To his surprise the door opened easily, making him falter in his steps. Meg, not having anticipated her partner slamming on the brakes in the middle of pursuit, collided with him, propelling them both through the doorway and into the living room.

Inside they barely managed to keep themselves from sprawling on the floor in a tangle of limbs. Whatever was about to follow their flirty behaviour in the corridor was snuffed in the bud as their eyes fell on the bread-crumbs line going from the front door to the bathroom.

Their eyes met, Meg's eyebrow almost disappearing in her blond locks. Harm shrugged in cluelessness, silently saying _How would I know, I've been with you, just like every other second of every day..._

Meg had to admit that was true, but that still didn't explain what this evidence of a woman, other than herself, having disrobed was doing in his apartment. For those were quite obviously female clothes and a uniform at that.

They received their answer as a high-pitched female scream of surprise and shock sounded from the direction the clothes were leading. Followed seconds later by a naked woman that was clutching only a towel to her chest as she literally fell out of the bathroom in her haste. She landed quite ungracefully on her front when her feet got tangled up in the cloth, her rump high up in the air in a very un-ladylike position, showing herself for the world to see.

The man and woman stood deathly still in their bewilderment as they both instantly recognized the invader.

* * *

Panic fueling her, Allison quickly got her feet back under her and scrambled up, wiping her sodden hair out of her eyes. Which unfortunately allowed her to discover her audience and realize they had seen everything.

Even worse, the two people standing before her, grocery bags forgotten in their hands and jaws hanging to the floor, were none other than her direct subordinates - one her fiercest competition for the man she'd just tried to conquer and the other the man in question himself, the man she had intended to show, what he'd just seen, in a complete different manner.

She'd just made a complete fool of herself, not to mention losing any shred of dignity and authority towards her inferiors. There was no way that after this display and clear evidence of what she'd tried to pull she would be able to exploit their obvious domesticity against them. No doubt existed in her mind that she would have to transfer out to save what little face she had left and to recover from this catastrophe.

There was no end to Commander Krennick's mortification and the only thing she prayed for right then was to just die and have Earth swallow her. Blushing fire engine red she abandoned her clothes and escaped through the wide open door, stopping only to grab her dropped handbag because of the car keys.

* * *

Speechless, the two partners continued to stare as the strong form of Harm's old pilot buddy came running, in hot pursuit, also garbed only in a towel.

"Keeter?" Harm demanded while Meg averted her eyes and bit her fist to avoid breaking into giggles.

"Hey... Harm!" the man stammered, screeching to a halt.

"What the hell is going on here?!" Harm bellowed, seeing the window of getting any answers was closing quickly.

"I have no clue. I was taking a shower when all of a sudden I get molested!" the strong man shrugged, his eyes darting to the doorway "Now excuse me, I've got a sexual assailant to catch!"

Leaving the couple to stare after him, their earlier intentions temporarily forgotten.

THE END

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	2. Version 2

Take #2 on that memorable scene.

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Harm could only stare as his boss breezed past him and into his bathroom, along the way shedding articles of clothing like a snake. A very good comparison, he decided.

Squeezing his eyes shut he prepared for the fallout and wasn't disappointed when an angry female voice cut cleanly through the husky rasp of his superior officer, telling her to get out in a way that was still well-mannered, but as cutting as a straight-razor.

Retreating from the bathroom and closing the door in a manner that screamed she'd just gotten clawed, his boss turned furious eyes on him.

"There's a _woman_ in _your _shower!" spat Krennick, her face white and chin trembling in anger. The accusation was clear, the only woman belonging in his shower was she and there would be hell to pay because he'd been so rebellious and disrespectful and even perhaps disloyal.

By now Harm had recovered sufficiently from his shock to shrug diffidently and return "Of course there's a woman in my shower. Why wouldn't there be one?"

Only after the words had left his mouth did he realize it had been the wrong thing to say.

The look she shot him was pure venom. Stalking out of the apartment she slammed the door with enough force to make Harm wince, but that didn't stop him from muttering "Good riddance to bad rubbish."

Exhaling, Harm knocked on the again-closed door "Dinner's almost ready and Frank called he's 5 minutes away, Mom."

Receiving an acknowledgement of his words Harm moved back to the frying pan, trying to decide whether explaining the situation to Krennick would make it better or worse.

_Oh, don't worry, Commander Krennick, I'm still free game, it was just my mother you got told off by. She's not accustomed to strange women, especially superior officers of mine, barging into her son's shower._

Yeah, Mommy had to defend Harmy-Warmy from the big, bad GIRL bully on the playground... Wouldn't that be good for his reputation if it got out and it would get out, for Krennick would make sure of it, as revenge for her humiliation.

Or maybe he should just let the horny Harpy stew in her belief that he had a woman in his life and then be uncooperative with revealing more, hoping that would be enough to get the Cougar in heat off his back. But...

Considering they'd interacted it would eventually dawn on Krennick that she'd been thrown out by a woman older than he was, that he'd had an older woman in his shower. And if she believed that the showering lady was Harm's dalliance... She'd think he had a thing for older women. And. She. Was. Older. Than. He...

Oh dear.

THE END (again)

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